My favourite question when talking to any new client is always “What would be possible if you were unstoppable?”. I love how that question creates space for thought, for possibility, for dreams. Try answering that question out loud, right now, and notice how breathing life into your dreams starts to change the realms of possibility. As you talk, notice how much MORE is possible, than you first thought.
I wonder how being unstoppable would change things for you. The definition of unstoppability varies for each one of us… and to be honest, for some people, it’s a really scary concept! People are sometimes much more comfortable to work with me to increase their confidence or create more impact, than they are to jump straight into a longer journey of personal development and transformation.
So what holds us back? What is that makes us suddenly seriously stoppable?! For most of us, the resistance that we feel is fear, and we feel that fear in all sorts of ways. Fear of judgement; of failure or success, of the past or the future. Resistance is powerful, potent and even paralysing. Steven Pressfield describes it “Resistance is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, harder to kick than crack cocaine”. Personally, I find that definition quite comforting – by definition, resistance really is as tough as it feels when we encounter it!
How would it feel if you could re-frame FEAR? You may have heard it represented as an acronym – False Evidence Appearing Real. I think that’s a useful concept but not as useful as seeing fear completely differently, and using it in a different way – as something that helps us to move from fear-full to fear-less. That’s why I developed a framework for working with clients that helps them to be more personally effective and it’s all based around re-framing fear. Here’s a brief intro:
Step One. Focus: How clear are you on your purpose and your values? Is how you live your life in line with your values and what truly motivates you (or are you stuck in the mire of what doesn’t?!)? Start by knowing where you are and where you want to be and then work out what needs to happen, or change, in order for you to get there. What’s the first step?
Step Two. Empathy: Take a look at your relationships and connections – with yourself and others. What do you notice? The better our understanding of ourself and those around us, the better the relationships we build. When we can step into other peoples’ worlds it not only improves relationships, it also helps us to understand and manage conflict and find resolution – both internal and external.
Step Three. Authenticity: Have you ever heard the Sammy Davis Jr Song “I Gotta Be Me”? This song sets my world alight! It reminds me that we have to courageously be who we really are, not who others think we should be. This might mean changing who you are to become who you want to be, or it might mean un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so that you can be who you were born to be. Only you know.
Step Four. Resilience: When we know how to sway with the wind, rather than fight against it, we start to go with the natural flow rather than creating the resistance that adds to the stress we feel in times of adversity. When I talk about this people assume I’m going to use the usual analogy of being like a tree. But for me, it’s more about being like bamboo…. Flexible but firmly rooted.
There is one more step. It’s not technically in my framework because when clients start to work with me, they’ve actually taken this step already. They’ve taken action. Whether you want to be more confident, to create more impact, to transform your life, or to become unstoppable – it all requires action. Action that only you can take. What is the smallest thing that you could do, right now, that would create the biggest result?
Are you ready to be unstoppable? You can find out more here and in the meantime, I’d love to leave you with one more quote, this time attributed to Goethe. “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. Begin it now.”
Be unstoppable today!
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